Present is never like yesterday anymore...

Things are really never like the past. One of the things which I really hope to hold on to even till I grow real old one day which is to keep in contact with my sec sch friends. However, especially in this year after all the things I have gone thru, I realised I didn't really want to contact them. It's either they're real busy with their own work or rather I don feel like telling them. But aren't they suppose to be my close friends? Just like some friends I thought we're close but actually we're drifting away from one another further n further as days go by. She does keep in contact with other sec sch friends whom I know too. So I was thinking am I really a people that difficult to get along well with? Perhaps I think. Even though I know they 'click' with me but somehow deep within me I still feel that something is lacking.

I felt I'm selfish because now my parents have a heavier burden because of me. If I chose to go overseas and study it'll be the same or even worse right? I know if I really want my mum will think of all ways to raise the money but I can't be that selfish. At least and also the max I could do is to at least remain in Singapore. So from now, I'll save real hard... There are still some issues n thinking within me which I really feel like writing out but I don know how so.. forget it...

Lastly, who will be my true friends eventually? or rather I will not even have 1? I'm feeling so poor, really poor (not because of monetary wise).