Becoming adults

Time really have past fast. So fast we've turned into 20. Looking few yrs back, all of us still in Sec sch. That was when I felt most probably we'll remain the same especially to the few in particular whom I will not mention in detail. However, now after going thru ?'s photo album and soooo... I realised ? has changed alot. back then ? doesn't like to wear skirt but now it's so different. Somehow there's a weird feeling within me. Perhaps it's kinda of jealous or disgusted? Anyway, as times goes by everything changes. I admit that I've changed quite abit too but at least all these were exchanged for it. So of course I will enjoy it. However I will not go overboard. Now I feel that ? is so far away and no longer that person I know in the past. Perhaps we really aren't fated to be good friends. It's just a coincidence. Right at the moment, I'm just living within the small circle which I've drawn for myself. In fact I do not want but it's kinda of some sort of sacrifice in exchange for something. However if somethings happen which i used it to exchange for reality and it's soemthing I've been hoping for long, I won't turn it away but my luck isn't so good afterall. There are many things which I hope I'm able to tell someone but just couldn't open my mouth. It isn't I don't trust my close friend but afterall once bitten twice shy. Haiz... can't explain the complexness within me. Is it part of growing up? Is it normal? Perhaps so I think... there are times which I really wanna tell someone or that person that I **** *** but doesn't have the courage and lack of confidence.