Legs to feli: Must your growing up journey seem so dramatic?

After a short cry over the phone with my aunt last night and a rather good slp I felt slightly better this morning. Indeed, crying out does help for me but sometimes the opportunity is not there. However, I still do think about the same qns agn but perhaps I shld listen to Legs and put into action. It sounds simple but it can be difficult to put it into practice, which is to think positively. I do know the importance and impact of thinking positively but somehow I do not want to place false positive hopes and in the end nothing gd comes out. Now i really realised the true a sentence which I came across 1 show. Habits are really a scary thing. Good habits can be cultivated but when good habits cultivated towards the 'extreme end' and carried out continuously for years, it may not be a good thing afterall. To a certain degree, I'm feeling difficult and down. Not really happy just to have this good habit cultivated. And now, I really hope someone will come and stay beside me to give me the courage and helping hand to take the first step 'out' of this good habit. Not to discard it but to make it more enjoyable, dare to take other different risk/challenge at the same time without forgoing current studies. I think I simply have too many burdens and expectations. I must learn how to put some down but at this moment I still can't talk round myself to do so. It seems that all these have been permanently engraved in my head and heart, can't be erased? Maybe it requires some time but I hope it won't be long otherwise it'll be another torturous and unhappy path for me agn. If the person whom I hope to appear in front of me to give me the courage, how gd can it be? Yet once agn, this might just be another false dream of mine, but no matter how there is still a glimse of hope lighting at 1 corner within me hoping it will be noticed, accepted and provide strength to lighten up the whole me!