Still pondering...

Tears rolled down agn just a moment ago after telling Gerrard most imptantly is to be happy. And as I expected he told mummy and here she came talking to me. She said she won't force me if I really don't want to study and I know regardless what decision I make as long I'm happy and know what I want she will support me, as she knows for the past 3 yrs I'm gradually becoming more unhappy. Now the fact is, I'm lost, having no exact idea what I like and want to do. Perhaps this is just a temp lost of direction which I hope so it is. At least I won't be in agony. Or came to realise what I really want and interested to do soon. I think I really lack of self confidence and that's why particularly in such a great struggle now... There's nothing much I can do now right? Maybe I'll just give it a try first and see how it goes as time goes by but most likely nothing will happen?