I'm being treated as a Princess!

Do u know how ridiculous my mum can be when I told her I think taking bus to school seems faster than compared to MRT? She suddenly said, 'how much will it be to take book a cab and send me to school everyday?' My immediate response is =.= Am I a rich kid or what. I can't believed she said this lor. If I agreed to it she surely will get it done lor. OMG... I know she loves us even to the extend of spoiling us as long it's within her means but isn't this slightly or very over alrd? But somehow I feel very happy within hahaha because I felt she's kind of cute and funny at the same time. I really felt as if I'm really a 'wealthy' princess! Even though we're not rich but this time I really experienced and feel feelings, warmth are more important than money. I'm not saying money is not important but enuf to use it's gd alrd. Too much money also might not be able to spend all right? But I think if my mum has countless of money, we'll definately be spoilt brats so apparently it's good that she isnt that filthy rich., though I hope she could be richer but to be used in a more meaningful manner.

幸せになる：The second event which made me feel real happy inside,

So far, the 2 learning places which marked an important place in my heart is KRSS and Ando sensei's Jap class. I really feel fortunate to be in his class and with a group of nice classmates. However this lasted short because soon it was the end of int. class. Although the few of us actually still keep in touch and proceed to next level together but then Ando will no longer be teaching us. I really miss his teaching and most important it's because he's really a nice sensei. =) Hope that we including Ando sensei can keep in touch often but it's better to master better jap first in order to have a smooth and longer lasting conversation. Hahaha...

Yes, I'm really glad and happy to say that this is definately one of the important moment in my life and why would I know and only blog it now it's because whenever I think back, I found myself basking in happiness, real sense of happiness within me. This is exactly how I felt after I left KR hence I know it lor. Hehehe...

本当に　ありがとう
Greatful + Thankful
=
Happiness

今日よく楽しいです！

I think I should write this down even though several days have passed. I was browsing thru some sec sch days photos and I happen to come across 1 photo which captured 1 of the wall sticker we pasted in sec 2 classroom. It stated, 'Go Confidently In the Direction Of Your Dreams!' Yes, it came just in time not only to me but for my fellow peers as well or others who need this phrase to remind them, to give them courage?
So, yea...

GO FOR IT!!!

Present is never like yesterday anymore...

Things are really never like the past. One of the things which I really hope to hold on to even till I grow real old one day which is to keep in contact with my sec sch friends. However, especially in this year after all the things I have gone thru, I realised I didn't really want to contact them. It's either they're real busy with their own work or rather I don feel like telling them. But aren't they suppose to be my close friends? Just like some friends I thought we're close but actually we're drifting away from one another further n further as days go by. She does keep in contact with other sec sch friends whom I know too. So I was thinking am I really a people that difficult to get along well with? Perhaps I think. Even though I know they 'click' with me but somehow deep within me I still feel that something is lacking.

I felt I'm selfish because now my parents have a heavier burden because of me. If I chose to go overseas and study it'll be the same or even worse right? I know if I really want my mum will think of all ways to raise the money but I can't be that selfish. At least and also the max I could do is to at least remain in Singapore. So from now, I'll save real hard... There are still some issues n thinking within me which I really feel like writing out but I don know how so.. forget it...

Lastly, who will be my true friends eventually? or rather I will not even have 1? I'm feeling so poor, really poor (not because of monetary wise).

Thinking abt lessons of life

Today I've read the response lpy wrote on trixy's wall. Indeed, trixy has mistaken that quitters withdrawed from *** is because cant take the stress. So far I only know 2 withdrawers (prefer to use withdrawers than quitters. u'll know why later) which are me (the head) followed by lpy. from lpy's reply she said it didnt apply much to her so she decided to go melb to study instead. So most probably she'll do back science line i suppose which is not much of a struggle for her anyway since not much change except for sch. Moreover her family has the money, can afford her expenses over there sooo okkkk...

I feel like writing on trixy's wall that actually why i chose to withdrawed is really after quite a struggle before I came to this decision. I admit stress is inevitable once enter uni but definately I'm not because of this. Before uni started, there is alrd a sense of relunctance within me which I ignored till when sch started. Partaially I do admit is the slight stress experienced at the start caused me to recognise the reluctance within me and ask myself is this what i really want. At last I know and finally admitted to the fact that I do not want to stay in the lab doing research. Doing science line this is definately 1 of the choices. Besides this, are dealing in sales or teacher. I don't like sales so no no... I don't reject the thought of being a teacher but regardless what I study can also be a teacher. However, being a teacher is like a 'backup, last resort' to me. many people in my situation will carry on because of reputation, money matters etc. but is that really what they want? Probably I will do the same if I continue to run away from the qns i have inside me, which is 'is this really what I want'? I thought probably due to uni stress so didnt want to think abt it. However, the feeling became stronger and stronger so I gave serious thought to it.

There are much thoughts within me which I wont elaborate but want to make 1 thing known to others. Do not follow blindly. U might not know what u want now but perhaps in the future u'll know. When u know what u want, do not run away. Accept it to save urself from agony. It will come hunting u if u force urself not to think abt it. Ultimately, only u know wad u like or want because it's your life, YOUR VERY OWN LIFE.

Inconsiderate smokers

Irritating! The thing which I hated most finally took place today when I was crossing the road at Orchard. There's this person who was smoking while crossing and therefore that cloud of smoke just blew DIRECTLY onto my face!!! WT... I not only feel my face is covered by a layer of grey, extremely dirty, filled with dirt and carcinogenic susbstances!!! The worst thing is don know how much of such F* smoke just entered my body. For god sake la, want to smoke pls smoke it elsewhere where got no 1. why must be at crowded public places. The air is so bad alrd yet ok lor now directly double dosage somemore... So far out of so many presentations I've done in sch, the best was the topic of smoking delimna. Oh man... my lungs became much darker after today le... ARGH!!! I DON WANT! The worse people on earth are those inconsiderate smokers! Want to smoke, can but pls do it wherever got no people. U might say public place is for everyone but wad u're doing is harming other peoples health so in another sense, the previledge assigned to u in public place is naturally will be taken away or lesser than non smokers. There are no perfect things on earth. if u want to do sth especially potentially places others health at risk, sorry but to get back ur so called freedom in public.

ARGH!!! I just cant get over it!!!!!!!!!

Numb Toe

I admit I'm abit Kiasu when it comes to anything felt wrong about body. I had a numb toe for abt 2 days and went to see a doctor le because after reading up from the internet, the more I felt scared as it mentioned regarding abt the spinal cord. Spinal cord is so so so important so it's best to consult the doctor and get an explanation for my condition. Yes indeed, a damaged nerve in the toe due to high impact pressure exerted on 5th Lumba of spinal cord (which is where most amt of body weight exert upon). So I think what really causes my toe to go numb this time (red alert) partially because for the past 1 week overseas I've been carrying alot of heavy things most of the time. So this is the catalyst. Dr Chan explained to me so at least I understand and at least have a peace of mind finally otherwise will think of all kinds of bad scenerios. That's why I like to consult him. And I've changed the usual doctor I have been visited since young which is near my house. I'm really glad to be able to get to know such a doctor and he teaches me new things (e.g. life lessons besides science).

Yes, nothing serious abt my numb toe and soon will recover after the damaged nerve has been repaired. And really, he prescribed Vit B12 to me for nerve repair (just like what I've read up previously). Besides, I have to start taking note to maintain a good posture.

I'm so not used to it but got to try in order not to become an 'old lady' at such a young age.

I read up more abt vit B1 just now and realised that I could be really suffering an insufficiency of it. And it could be due to long term veganism. i admit that from the day I started to pay attention to my diet in order to lose weight, I cut down alot on meat and diet bulk mainly veg n fruits. This could result the decreased abilty of the body to absorb vit B. Why I think so it's because I have crack lips but actually not that serious la. At times I feel tired easily too but more apparent when my period is coming or here. Lastly, it's because of my numb toe now. Hence I seriously need to make changes to my diet. That is to increase the amt of meat intake but does not include taking in those fatty meat.

Yes, and I have learnt something new! ^_^

Holiday trip photos

Symphony of lights in HK.

All Prawn Wanton (back) & All Fish meat ball (front)

Hehe... The Jap Momo peach is irresistable so must take a photo with it. ^_^

Too bored while waiting for boarding so decided to take a photo with the bridge behind me. I love that bridge!

Venetian Macau Hotel. Right behind me is the casino downstairs.

YUMMY YUM!! This is my favourite dessert in HK. Mango cubes + juice + pamelo + sago.
My All Time Fav. Phrase. At Macau Tower.

Back from HK/Macau

Yozzz... I've been back for 3 days alrd. For the past 1 week in HK, that really seem quite long especially when there are unhappy times happened. Initially everything was rather good, going fine. I'm quite looking forward to it but graudally as the no. of days increased being with my aunt, I really can't stand her. At times, she will ask people questions which I deem as redundant or useless, and also she'll ask me same qns more than once and I have to repeat. This is what I dislike abt because I don't like to repeat same things twice... I'll get irritated by it. So is this a sign of old age? Being forgetful and even lost some kind of thinking process?

Secondly, due to her health conditions she can't walk too much or carry too heavy things. But I feel all these are excuses. Can't do something doesnt equal to 100% inability to do part of it. For instance, she can carry to bagful of things but why can't she carry it down from the plane's top cabin when was abt to get down the plane. I asked can u bring down those things and she replied, 'do u think I can?' WTH... I feel like replying yes why not, since u can carry it. Grrr... I have other bags and 1 cabin size luggage to take it down, why cant she just help abit and just sit there... sick doesnt mean total useless lor... All those are just excuses!

Back to when we're in HK shopping, there was 1 day we went shopping separately and only arranged to meet in the evening to go n meet her friends for dinner. when i met her, she said she's tired after 1 whole day and happily take my hand and put her bagful of things in my hand. what's the meaning of this man... As if i'm not tired ah... I also walked for 1 whole day lor and carried so many things... luckily i went back to hotel to put my things down. Nevertheless, that crumpler bag I carried was also rather heavy lor, my neck almost gave way... I thought after putting down those things i bought at least can feel lighter but nv expected this. Intially tell me dont walk so fast yet when im carrying her stuff, she walked way ahead of me. U call this tired? I doubt...

When we're going back to HK from Macau, I was really carry alot of bags lor... I myself alrd got 3 bagful of things to carry... yet I still have to help her carry 1 bag of hers and she just happily carry 1 bag only... And I look like 1 mad woman came from those mainland carrying so many many bags... Like running for my life, taking refuge somewhere else lor... I felt damn pathetic that time... And the best part is take free shuttle bus (provided by the hotel. And we didnt stay in that hotel. we stayed over at her friend's hse) to the pier to take ferry back to HK. Since we're carrying so many things why cant we take taxi since it's only a short distance. I don't mind paying lor... rather than squeezing up the bus with so many bags... it's really inconvenient ok... Then when I board the bus (i was the last among she and her friend), she told me to sit with her and help her with her luggage later when alighting... Grrr... I know her friend has back problems and I will help if I'm not stuck with so many bags! She shldnt be telling me these lor... I believe she can just lift the small luggage (cabin size) down the bus lor... this takes less than 1 min ok... it's isnt that heavy that will cause heart attack ok... it's not as if she'll be carrying it cont' for long period of time.

On the same day back to HK which was at night alrd, I intend to go n look for the shop where I can get the birkenstock i've been looking for. And to my surprise, those shop now only sells children wear! OMG!!! So i intend to go somewhere else nearby cos I have a whole list of shops. Then she said,' I suggest you call and find out first.' Obviously she's tired to walk (she was alrd sitting down). I really wanted to say back, 'if u're tired why don't u go back hotel first.' That is why I finally told her that I'm going to shop for my things on my own on the next day while she shop for her own stuff.

Soon, it was monday when we'll be returning back to SIN. On that particular morning, we are supposed to check out by 12pm. Because we have many things to carry, I think if call for the bellboy shld be better. It was almost 12pm alrd. Then she said still got time and happily sit there drinking coffee. To me, I don't care if there're many people checking out at the same time or even the hotel won't charge us extra for checking out later (not very late also... perhaps 15-30mins late), I prefer things to be done on time. Ok fine... I didn't anything and shut up. So when we're at the lobby checking out, another friend of hers came, bringing the wife biscuits she helped us to buy. They placed everything in that brown bag I have. So when abt to go to ground floor to put our luggage there, her friend said that bag packed with all the wife biscuits is really heavy. So my aunt tried it herself and said, 'ya really heavy'. Ok lor... fine... I got it! so I said, 'I'll carry then u pull my hello kitty luggage. OMG... My new luggage leh... when i returned home I realised there are scratches!!! I hardly pulled it lor... don know it's her fault or her friend accidentally caused it... My heart aches lor... If i have a choice I WONT let anyone besides myself or my mum to take it.

Her slowness and indecisiveness really irritates me at most times.

For the past 1 week, I'm really pissed off... for a moment I'm mad at my mum too cos she reluctant to let me go overseas myself so I have no choice but to ask my aunt if she wants to go. At first I thought was ok, no big problems but only when we're there all sorts of things happened which make me feel so mad. Thinking back, I can't blame my mum cos my bros are having exam soon and those men in my family are simply useless... everything all depend on my mum... Sick of saying them alrd... But even if they not having exams, I doubt my mum will leave 3 of them alone at home lor... ARGH!!! I'm sick sick sick!!! Sometimes I really feel I'm more like a mum rather than my MUM... And that is why when I'm at home, my temper is never good before... most of the time is having that fierce/strict looking, moody, grumpy, impatient look on me. U think I like meh. But really can't help it... both parents not strict to my bros, most of time only say with no actions so I got to act the bad person lor...

Take 2 days ago for instance, their last paper is only on the next day yet still bring a big group (and i really meant it. i think there are abt 10) of friends to my hse. When his friends all saw me came home, they getting ready to leave soon. That was pretty auto... But i think those who ever been to my hse with my being at home will know that I'm fierce and etc. Haiz... don know shld feel it's gd or bad... It's really feeling terrible and tired to be like this and I don't like it... If they can be more sensible I wont be like this le... this includes my mum. Just like last night, she must do every bits n pieces of housework such that all in place before going to bed. So i blasted at her! I must make sure she goes to bed otherwise I wont sleep. Haiz... only by sacrificing my sleep will make her go to bed slightly faster only otherwise she'll take her own sweet time. alrd not feeling that well yet still don know how to take care... only when becomes serious then got no choice but to rest early. WHY YOUNG N OLD ALL LIKE THAT???!!! SPARE ME CAN?!